A Gift? For Me? Aww…

Gifts, presents and small surprises may seem insignificant to you but they are quite honestly, a major issue to girlfriends.

Look, I’m not implying that all girls are in it for material things cos if that’s what she’s really in for, consider cutting her lose – now!

Girls are generally in need of assurance that their boyfriends are thinking of them. That’s when a well-chosen gift can instantly transform her impression of you into a thoughtful and romantic gentleman.

No excuses, guys! Don’t start with the ‘I don’t know what to get for her’, ‘I don’t know what she likes’ or worst of all, ‘she’s too fussy’.
Shame on you!

Listen and pay very close attention. You will soon realise that your girlfriend will mention in passing the things that she desires to have.

Listening helps you learn of her wants and needs, likes and dislikes. This makes it a whole lot easier for you when it comes to getting a gift she’ll truly appreciate.

You can’t go wrong with bags, shoes, lingerie, earrings… you know, the usual girl stuff.

But a side-note: know her size cos size is a sensitive issue to her.

And another note of advice: Every girl should only open one box containing a ring from you. Don’t get couple rings of any other sort of ring before that. This will make the proposal ring all the more special to her. And besides, how many rings do you expect her to have on her fingers?

You shouldn’t have to wait for a special occasion to get her something. A random, out-of-nowhere gift will take her by surprise and take her breath away. Special occasions are times where she will expect a gift anyway, so the effects it will have on her are not so great – unfortunately.

The Healing Process of a Breakup

I have to admit – I’m a Facebook Addict.

Please, don’t mistaken me for some creep who gets a high on ‘stalking’ friends through their photos and walls. Another confession, I’ve allowed the internet to take over the conventional way of socializing and networking.

But then again, I’m not gonna give a lecture on the importance of face-to-face communication. In fact, I’m doing quite the opposite.

Lately, surfing Facebook has led me to see a growing trend in break-ups  and make-ups (more of breakups actually).

I’ve been through it; I know how painful it can be.
But for many of us, thinking back to past break ups we had, only makes us say, “what the hell was I doing with that jerk in the first plce?”True, isn’t it?
But while the healing is still progressing, support from friends and loved ones indeed make a world of difference.

Here’s me, doing my part in reaching out to my broken-hearted friends out there.

My advice:
Let go of the pain and move on ‘cos there’s always something better coming your way.

Below are some famous quotes to help you through this journey:

“Letting go has never been easy, but holding on can be as difficult. Yet strength is measured not by holding on, but by letting go.”-Len Santos

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”
-Deborah Reber“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
-E.M. Forster“The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.”
-Anonymous

“Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.”
-Dave Mustaine“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken, and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken pieces as long as I lived”
-Margaret Mitchell

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us”
-Alexander Graham Bell

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”
-Deborah Reber“Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart”
-Washington Irving

“You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore”
-Christopher Columbus

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving”
-Albert Einstein

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”
-Anonymous

Source: http://lovesagame.com/

It’s going to be a tough journey. I’m not going to lie to you – It will hurt for quite a while. You will shed tears, you might have sleepless night and your life may just take a turn on you. But look at all of us who have gone through it and found happiness again.

If you want to remain annonymous yet need someone to talk to, a listening year or even a punching bag (!), drop me an email ( imcrappin@hotmail.com ), comment on this post, write in my guestbook…anything. I’ll do my best to support you through all the way.

7 Deadly Sins

The 7 deadly sins - I’m not referring to the ones most of us know of: lust, greed, gluttony, etc… (Well, I’m feeling too guilty to even list them out)

I’m talking about the big S.E.V.E.N deadly sins that could kill your relationship. Take a read through to find out if you’re jeopardizing your love life.

1) Lack of Interest
This usually happens over time in majority of couples. Anyone who has been in a long relationship before, would understand this perfectly. This is where the passion that you once had starts to fizzle off and you start taking each other for granted.

The lack of interest can also refer to couples who just aren’t interested. They don’t bother finding out how their partner is doing at home or at work; they aren’t attentive to details such as what their partner enjoys eating, the movies he/she loves watching or even the times where he/she specially dresses up for an occasion.

Any couple who has reached this stage should find ways to re-ignite the fire for a successful, passionate and exciting relationship.

2) Your Definition of ‘Relationship’
What are your goals in this relationship?
What are you really expecting out of it?
Are you hoping for it to be like one of your childhood fairy tale love stories where your prince charming rides away with you on a horse and you’ll live happily every after? I’m sorry to say this, but you’ll be left disappointed. Every relationship will inevitably have its ups and downs. If you truly love someone, you will make it an effort day by day, every single day to make the relationship a happy and successful one.

3) Jealousy
Jealousy is one of the biggest threats to a relationship, usually sprouting from the fear of losing something – companionship, love, partner, etc. While most girls like to know that their boyfriends are easily jealous, there is always a limit.
Jealousy if put to the extreme, can result in  being over possessive and controlling, which often spells disaster.

If you are the jealous sort, you’ll understand that this is not easy to overcome but know that it can be resolved by first loving who you are, seeing the good qualities in yourself and developing trust in the relationship.

4) Stickiness
Similar to jealousy, stickiness or clinging is rooted to the fear of loss. It can manifests itself through different ways such as repeatedly  reassuring love for their  partner. Often verbally or  literally, making partner  feel trapped and increasing his/her need to escape.

5) Having Too High of Expectations
This is quite simple. I believe all of us who have gone into a relationship, have made the mistake of having too high expectations of our partner or of the relationship from the very start.
For example, believing that he is Mr Right, telling yourself this is the guy you’re gonna marry, stuff like that.

It’s not wrong to set standards, but if you’re raising the bar that high, you will only set yourself up to face disappointment.

6) Trapped in a Life Cycle
Do you find yourself waking up every morning caught in the same routine, from sunrise to nightfall, where even your sex life seems to be routine? Don’t be ashamed to admit it. You’re probably just one of millions out there who feel the same.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that everything about us just revolves around work, school, managing our finances, make a living, stuff like that.

Don’t get caught in this monstrous cycle; Don’t let it devour your relationship and most importantly, your happiness. Help each other break free by adding some spice into your love life, enjoy nights together by the beach, prepare candlelight dinners, (for the girls) surprise him with sexy lingerie perhaps?

There’s limitless possibilities – all just waiting to be tampered with.

 7) Loss of Communication
 So, we’ve all heard of how technology can practically take us away from conventional means of communication with our loved ones. The same applies to couples.

While we love the development of new technology, this God’s gift to mankind can in fact ruin what’s most dear to us.
Couples need to talk, they need physical contact like looking into each other’s eyes, holding each other’s hands and embracing each other’s warmth.

A relationship that deals mostly through typing on the keyboard or keying alphabets on a mobile might just fail in the long run.

Communication also means understanding your partner. This is the mutual connection between the two of you. Knowing how your partner feels emotionally and what he or she thinks in different situations is one of the keys to a successful relationship.

Don’t lose the intimacy of connection and communication with each other. Have each other as a support to fall on in times of joy and in times of despair.

ABCs of Aphrodisiacs

A
Almonds – Symbolic of fertility to some cultures; and some even say it’s sexually arousing for women.

Aniseed - Ancient Greeks and Romans say sucking on the seeds increases libido.

Avocados - Contain vitamin B6, which increases production of male hormones.

B
Bananas – Potassium and B vitamins aid production of sex hormones. Regulates blood pressure, which if too high, may cause erectile disfunction.

C
Caviar - Zinc, found in caviar stimulates the creation of testosterone.

Celery - Contains androsterone, a hormone believed to attract females when secreted through sweat.

Chili Peppers – Releases endorphins and contains capsaicin, a chemical that raises our pulses.

Chocolate - Contains a stimulants phenylethylamine and theobromine, which act on the neurotransmitters of the brain to give you a sense of excitement The higher the cocoa content, the higher its effectiveness is.

Cucumber - In 2006, the Smell & Taste Treatment Research Foundation found that women were most turned on by the smell of cucumber

G
Ginger - Consumed in any form, the ginger is said to increase sexual powers and desire.

Ginseng - Similar to ginger, Chinese or Korean ginseng is believed to enhance sexual powers and desire.

O
Oysters – Probably the world’s most well-known aphrodisiac placed top of the sexy food list. They’re full of zinc which helps in the production of testosterone.

P
Pine Nuts – Similar to oysters and caviar, pine nuts are full of zinc, which is great for producing sperm and increasing the libido.

S
Sweet Basil – Some people think that basil stimulates your sex drive and boosts your fertility.

T
Truffles - The musky aroma might excite the palate which can lead to some stimulation and arousal elsewhere too.

Valentine’s Day (Valentine Not Included)

There’s such an onslaught of lovey doveyness in the air – red hearts splattered on magazines, television screens and advertisement billboards; flower bouquets, chocolates & teddy bears decked on shelves; and countless “I Love Yous” shared between couples – you name it, it’s bound to be found somewhere.

You know what I’m talking about – Valentine’s Day.

Is it really over-hyped and too commercialized? Or are you simply being bitter and jealous because to you, February 14th is Valentine’s Day minus the valentine?

Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure all of us (except for the few lucky ones) have spent at least one VDay alone by ourself. Why not indulge in some single-hood fun to take your mind off things?

1. Gather some unattached friends for a nights out at a bar, restaurant, club or the movies, and prove to yourselves that singles still have more fun!

2. Invite a bunch of close friends over for a movie, a sleepover, or just about anything you guys/ gals enjoy doing together.

3. Since you’re not splurging on anyone over Valentine’s Day, use that to splurge on yourself instead. Treat yourself to some shopping, massage, , a good meal, whatever.

4. Rent yourself a collection of movies starring your favorite actor or actress, and spend the night feasting your eyes on your ultimate celebrity crush!

5. If you’re still envious and want yourself a taste of Valentine’s Day, drag your best bud on a ‘date’, exchange gifts and spend some quality time with each other.

Are You In Or Out?

This may be good news or bad news for you but most women want men to make the first move.

Making the first move is hard, and we girls know it – perhaps the only reason why we’d rather you guys do the job.

Yes, no doubt it’s unfair that we put you in that tough spot but if you really think of it, we have our share of torture as well – who are the ones being put through the on-going pain of high-heels, monthly cramps, crazy breakouts and hours spent on deciding what to wear?

So, my conclusion: We’re all in on a win-win/ lose-lose situation.

Scoring a date can be simple. She may in fact be giving you the green light but if you’re too preoccupied with trying to act cool or even feeling too self-conscious, you might just miss it. Be attentive and pay attention.
Make sure that you’re always looking straight at her face, talking to her face, and gazing right into her eyes (and no where lower, if you know what I mean). Bonus points for you if you are able to recognize cues, clues, and body language. It’s definitely a plus there.

And aside from maintaing eye contact, here are some other common signs to help you be sure if you’re almost in for the goal:

1. She twirls and plays with her hair while looking at you. - She says you remind her of her dad

2. She seems fascinated with everything about youand keeps asking you questions.

3. You notice she has more make-up on after coming out of the bathroom.

4. She laughs at all your jokes, even when they’re not really funny.
- She tells her friends to go ahead without her while she remains with you.

But of course, times have changed, and so have the women of this world. Men’s roles have taken a back seat as a growing number of women are becoming bolder in the cat-and-mouse chase (wait, did I just heard some sighs of relief? )

One thing you’ve got to know, is that when a girl truly wants you, she’ll do whatever it takes to make it known.
If you’re smart, you’ll probably want to make yourself desirable. It’s a lot easier if they find you too hard to resist.

Boyfriend Vs. Player

Probably a tough decision to be made for some of you guys, huh?
As a player, you get all the freedom you want – nothing serious, no commitments, and best of all, you wouldn’t have to worry about her expectations from you.

Forget about anniversaries, meet-the-parents dinners, and those long dreadful relationship talks.
You can get any girl you want, or even all of them at the same time if you’re up for it. It’s clearly too fun to let go of!!

Ah-ha! So you think you’ve got the upper hand by being a player? I’d beg to differ. Surprise surprise, but girls are quite similar when it comes to this.
There’s one major difference however,  and that’s that we can pull out of the ‘fooling around’ game more easily than you guys can. We won’t have to go through the mind-wrecking process, of weighing pros and cons.

On the flip side of the coin, being a boyfriend has its own special set of advantages too. First thing’s first, you won’t grow old with a full head of whites, wrinkles across your face, loose skin hanging from every other part of your body, and still be caught chatting up 20-year-olds at a bar.

But the best part is this: Being a boyfriend would mean your girlfriend has you to stay committed to. Taking on the role as her one-and-only, she will channel all her love, passion and energy  to you alone. As a girlfriend, she’ll be turned on by you in a whole new way. And where the benefit lies, it’s for only you to know and for only you to truly find out.

First Date Tips (For guys)

Anticipating first dates can be one heck of a nerve-wrecking experience. The surge of emotions running through you, can be so overwhelming, it could possibly give you an instant heart attack. There’s the thrill, the excitement, the nervousness, the adrenaline of an adventure so new, so fun, and filled with so much potential, and not forgetting the unavoidable and never-ending what-if’s that constantly fill every nook and corner of your mind.

First dates are not only an opportunity for you to meet someone new but also sort of like a second chance to renew yourself from previous dates or past relationships that went sour – in fact, it is somewhat like a ‘New Beginning’.

Remember one thing though, while you are on one end, contemplating the possibilities, imagination running wild, and fantasizing about your dream girl, she too is on the other end having her share of fantasies. While she is hoping that you’ll turn out to be Mr Right, she is also keeping her expectations in check. For example, her dream Malibu Barbie Mansion, along with that hot pink Malibu Barbie car.

So, in case all my small talk has gotten you even more jittery now, here’s some tips that might help:

1. Be on time – Or try to be slightly early. She can be fashionably late, but you have no excuse.

2. Make it a quickie – No, not what you’re thinking. Avoid having first dates at dinner. You want to get it over and done with if you find that she’s not right for you, and you’re only setting yourself up if she’s a slow eater too.

3. Plan, plan, plan – Suggest a place to have coffee or tea. As controlling as girls may appear to be, the usually appreciate it better if you did the planning.

4. Simple + Fun - Make it one that is memorable and unique, something she’ll never forget. This also breaks tension, makes her feel more comfortable around you, and gets her to open up to you more easily.

5. Let her into your life – Let her have a glimpse into your life. It could be the neighborhood where you grew up, your favorite hangouts, or even the activities you enjoy. She’ll feel special to be invited into your life.

6. Censorship – There is a limit to what you reveal to her and how much of it is revealed. Don’t tell her things like how you used to run naked in you lawn or how your mum breast-fed you.

7. Show Interest in her life – Find out about what her hobbies are, what her favorite foods are, etc.

8. Mind your manners – This doesn’t apply only to your date but to others around you as well. She’ll be watching your every move and forming an impression of you based on how you act during the entire date.

A Practical Handbook For The Boyfriend

OMG!! I was at the library today to my utter surprise, I found this awesome book. Oh no, when I say awesome, I really mean it in every sense of the word. It was addictive. The moment I picked up the book, I knew immediately that it was coming home with me.

A Practical Handbook For The Boyfriend, written by Desperate Housewives’ Felicity Huffman and co-authored by Patricia Wolff, is the perfect complement to Steve Harvey’s Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.

This is a light-hearted, fun-filled but very factual book, which acts as a guide for all boyfriends out there, who are desperate to decode their girlfriend’s crazy behavior. It tackles everyday relationship topics from dating to sex, from cheating to break-ups.

I’m lovin’ it…ta-da-da-da-da…